where's the camera when ya need it?

En route home from work today, I see a delivery truck worker exit the passenger side of his truck. He looks ragged, like he'd had a rough, rough night. He has a shaven head with stubble and as he turns around to approach the back of the truck, I see that he has 3 pieces of chewed gum placed neatly planted around his head. Priceless.

sucker punch

I got a letter from my (very youngish) ob/gyn stating that he was retiring. (If there are any males reading, keep staid). So, I quickly make an appointment, and I go. I am not a doctor person, but as I love him, I have to go to find out why and what.

He would not share specifics for reason for retire, only that it was a tough decision. I bluntly told him that it was not good for me as he was the ONLY doctor that I felt comfortable with. He does an un-doctorly move and tears up. Gives me a huge hug and tells me that he has thought about our miracle baby often. Gives referral and bye.

I get in the car and cry my brains out. This guy, who is nobody to me really, never been to thanksgiving or has never talked to me about anything personal, was the direct reason I have my son. He had no idea how to contend with my weird blood disorder and managed to research and figger the shit out and go all experimental on it. And now, this guy, a stranger, who has seen me through many miscarriages and through a perfect child, is out of my life. I am seriously feeling a loss.

more fall........

Sometimes it's fun being an almost grown-up.

autumn

Everyone who really knows me, knows how much I love the autumnal rituals. No one on this planet right now loves a pumpkin patch or a corn maize as much as i do. Ergo, this past weekend, 3 hayrides in 24 hours. First two: with-now-single-mom. #1 clydesdale horses , #2 disney-esq farm that i worked on as a kid. next day: with-now-single-dad. totally old-school farm. the geezer who parked the three cars that were there, recommended that we look at the newborn pigs. The barn floor was 3 inches thick with muck that you absolutely had to step in to see the pigs. Once in, I glance over and happen to see a shotgun just propped against the wall within total reach of anyone willing to step in the muck. Totally fucking awesome. I will post the name as soon as i remember it.

subways when i was a renegade child

People still smoked on the platforms and on the trains. The trains were so dirty and smelly and covered in graffiti. The smell of human funk was truly so pervasive, it was not even talked about. I never wanted to sit, because every seat had something gross on it, even though i was a wild tomboy. It was wild and exciting when I was riding with an adult. When I decided to go it alone, it was oh-so-scary, but such a thrill to me.

addendum to: "that was then, this is now"

So my parents would ship me to my aunt mimis for small bouts of time, as per previous post. But then, when I got there, she would also sometimes foster me out. Sometimes she had to work (a nurse at St. Vincents) and sometimes she just had her life. If nighttime, I just went to sleep, and she went out. If daytime, she had another "best"friend who was the head librarian at the library at the W. 4th branch. I was supposed to stay there all day and read. Which I did most days. I have always had better than perfect vision, and in those days my eyes actually hurt at the end of the day for so much i read.

Then one day at school i was talking with a kid in my school who was also a quasi-newyorker. She was like, "you don't know new york, if you haven't been to coney island to ride the cyclone" (yes, i grew up in snotty loser connecticut) .

So, next time i am shipped to mimis apt, she ships me to the library. I am loosely being babysat by head librarian and i decide to duck out to coney island to ride the cyclone. I am 9 or 10. I ask directions, read maps. I get there! I ride cyclone (1$ at the time) and still in love with life and myself

. Then........I don't remember how to get back to mimi's. I go up to nearest cop and lo and behold, they drive me to my ny home. Parents never needing to know. Great aunt, worried, but no real trouble. It all worked out. That was then, this is now.

my view on the veep debates